The Consequences of Turning the “New” 40

Well, ladies, it happened…not proud, but I’ll share. Those hot flashes that had your mother’s friends fanning themselves in the midst of a February blizzard? They started. The first one happened last year in June. I distinctly remember driving to pick up my son for lunch.

It was a gorgeous day–blue skies and a blissful 75 degrees. Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I felt heat. It started at my toes and slowly climbed up my body like a slithering snake. When it reached the top of my head, I was certain that I accidentally hit the heated seats button on the car and that was the cause of my sudden fever. I looked down at the control switch though, and to my chagrin, it was not “on.”

Damn, what on earth was happening to me? My head was on FIRE! It didn’t happen again for at least a year and I thought I was in the clear. Little did I know that the little menopause fairy had her sights on me and that the week of my 50th birthday would be the hottest week of my life!!! Not only was my classroom a balmy 93 degrees, but even when I was in the air-conditioned computer lab, I was repeatedly wiping sweat from my brow. Lovely sight.

I made an appointment with my gyno and prayed to GOD–that he would have a miraculous cure for my discomfort. Then, I sought advice from every woman I knew between the ages of 45-55 and made plans to buy the “sheets that breathe” and keep my thermostat to 60 degrees. Subconsciously, I hoped that all the sweating I was doing would be the catalyst to losing weight, but apparently that is not how this thing works.

My boyfriend put two and two together commenting on our enormous electric bill. Poor thing, at nearly a decade younger, he certainly didn’t sign up for this! However, there is an upside. According to, “Hitting menopause is not the end, but a new beginning. It’s the opening to greater wisdom; a more tapped-in feeling; and a more connected self. Most importantly, staying vibrant and active physically is possible with skillful self-care.” Whew, good to know because I’m freaking sweating like a sinner in church these days! I’m hoping these Seven Dwarves of Menopause keep their distance! 

P.S. Amy said giving up process sugar cured her of hot flashes. Worth a try.


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Author: Thea Ferzola