10 Quick Tips for Better Sex in a Pandemic

Also Read: 5 Things You Should Never Do Before Bed

Don’t Let Covid Infect Your Marriage! Do not let this global pandemic get in the way of your relationship with your significant other. When the dust settles, and your masks have been relegated to the goodwill pile, and we are no longer cloaked in uncertainty, doom and gloom, you will look across the dinner table, and your spouse will still be looking back at you — unless, he complains one more time about how hard it is to fit the tall glasses in the dishwasher, in which case I, ahem, one may be sitting across from a divorce lawyer instead. I know I have not been easy to live with during these last few months, but at the very least, the intimacy has not suffered.

Now, more than ever, we need human touch, joy, playfulness, and yes, as many orgasms as we can muster. Sex releases tons of great, stress minimizing, mood boosting hormones. It helps you sleep, it is free, and its happy effects last well into the next day. A good marriage and sex are like the chicken and the egg. Which comes first? When one is good, the other follows. It is hard to maintain any strong relationship with the challenges of this year, but if you stop chasing the chicken and focus on the egg, you might just find a content chicken pecking at your toes. Plus, breakfast has been served.

Also Read: How Much Sex is Everyone REALLY Having

Here are 10 Quick Tips to Better Sex in a Pandemic

1. Foreplay starts in the kitchen. It always has, especially for women. Under normal circumstances, we can’t just turn it on after we brush our teeth. With the added anxiety the world is piling on our plates, we definitely need a longer runway for takeoff. Speak nicely to each other, be curious about each other’s day, sit close, touch, laugh and when all else fails, split a bottle of wine.

2. Stop talking about the kids. It is bad enough they are underfoot all the time, you don’t need to also discuss them at every turn. Find something else to discuss, like an idea you have, a book or a movie. It is hard to feel sexy when you are 24/7 trapped in the mom and dad role.

3. In the evening, or when you are walking or working out, play music that brings you back. I can’t hear, “I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight” by Cutting Crew without feeling young and madly in love. What can you play that will remind you of the days when the world was safer, the worries simpler and the attraction more acute? All your senses matter.

4. Avoid Covid talk and news for at least an hour before you go to bed. In fact, avoid it all day if you can. Images of Cuomo, Murphy, Trump and Biden are essentially cold showers. Ironically, although sex is a fantastic antidote for anxiety, anxiety also reduces libido. Chicken and the egg all over again.

5. Be generous. Think of ways to make your spouse feel better or be happier during the day, and that feeling of generosity will extend into the bedroom.

6. Don’t eat right before bed. It is bad for your metabolism, bad for motivation and bad for your sex drive.

7. Go to bed at the same time as your partner. This might just be me, but I get exhausted during these short, dark, stress filled days, and if I have 5 minutes by myself in bed, all thoughts of fooling around get relegated to dreamland. But, if I climb in at the same time or right after Larry, I have just enough energy to be interested and hopefully interesting.

8. Don’t be shy. Does anyone else still feel like they are a teenager sometimes … not when I look in the mirror, but when it comes to standing up for myself or asking for what I want? After sex, you will feel better, you will sleep better, and you will like your partner more. If you are in the mood, go for it. If your partner is a man, your chances for rejection are incredibly low.

9. Don’t think about how you look, think about how you feel. We all look like crap with our covid 19 (lbs) and our maskne and our general lack of self-care. Forget it. Close your eyes and picture how you want to feel and how you want to make your partner feel and let the obsession with appearances go.

10. Accept a quickie. On those nights (or mornings) when you are just not feeling up for it, set expectations, as in, “Fine, but make it quick.” Or, “O.K., but I have about five minutes before I have to get out of bed.” Every encounter doesn’t have to cause the earth to shake, and just like kindness begets kindness, sex simply begets more sex.

We are suffering so much loss right now, we are feeling less normal and even less human. Don’t deny yourself one of the most basic human pleasures. Instead, embrace it, plan for it, and overcome every obstacle, including but not limited to, fatigue, stress, bad backs, nearby children, bloated bellies, fear and frustration, late night zooms, and virtual just about anything, to get it. Think of frequent sex as part of your overall wellness plan, and put it on your to do list right after “buy kale” and right before “go to the gym.”


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Author: Karen Latimer

Dr. Latimer is a Family Physician and Wellness & Parenting Coach. She works with parents who want to feel more confident when helping their children and coaches young adults to help them better navigate college life and transitions. Contact her at drkarenlatimer@gmail.com to learn more. She is the author of two Audible Originals, Take Back the House -- Raising Happy Parents and Worry Less, Parent Better. She is also the co-founder of the app that makes your life easier and puts social in a healthier place -- List'm.