Top Ten Ways to Destroy a Marriage (other than cheating)

I am no marriage counselor, but I have been happily doing this commitment thing for 15 years. I know life can change on a dime and everything is temporary, but for now, I am still madly in love with my husband. This will embarrass him because he has always hated PDA, but I still get a little flutter when he walks in the door, and I still would rather be with him than anyone else. Of course, we still want to kill each other every once in a while, too.

I grew up in house with parents who loved each other very much. They had a traditional marriage, one that didn’t make much sense to me, but their love for each other was palpable. I will never forget being a little girl and asking my mom who she loved more, “Daddy or me?” She didn’t even hesitate before she said, “Daddy. He is the reason I have you in the first place, and he is my best friend.” I have taken that with me.

I pooled personal experience with some expert advice and came up with ten sure fire ways to ruin a relationship.

1. Never leave the kids with a family member or sitter to be alone, and always put the kids first.

2. Always keep score and make sure to maintain a constant attitude of tit for tat.

3. Always blame your partner for your own shortcomings and disappointments.

4. Never change and always expect your partner to adjust for you.

5. Complain about your partner to anyone who will listen.

6. Fight dirty. Don’t just fight about the little stuff. Pull out the big guns.

7. Expect your partner to read your mind.

8. Always need to be right, and never apologize.

9. Never spend any time apart.

10. Take yourself and your life very seriously.

Number 10 is the most important. If you really want to resent your spouse, forget how to laugh.

Marriage is work, but if each person takes responsibility for their own happiness, maybe it doesn’t have to be hard work.


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Author: Karen Latimer

Karen is a Family Doctor, mom of five and founder of Tips From Town.

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