Moms, can we be honest?

I’m watching TV and a paper towel commercial comes on.  It’s a mom and her little kid in an expansive white kitchen.  Her kid spills juice all over the counter, the floor, and his clothes.  Mom smiles, grabs a roll of paper towels and they both have a good laugh together.

Now, I remember vividly being home for only a few minutes after working all day when one of my own children decided they were going to pour themselves some juice.  Similar to the commercial, the juice went EVERYWHERE!  Now, I suppose commercial mom’s reaction would have been the better choice, however I had been up since 5AM, came home with a raging headache and was looking forward to 5 minutes of peace.  I can honestly say that I did not smile, I did not laugh and I may have even said (I definitely did say) a few choice words when I saw the mess.

I love my children more than anything, but I am not “commercial mom” and more often than not I find the pressure to present myself as if I am “commercial mom.”  Unfortunately, the problem is that with “Fakebook,” there is an overwhelming pressure to appear as if we are living this fantasy life.

My life on “Facebook” is presented as that “commercial mom,” perfect wife, and teacher of the year.  But in fact I have made MANY mistakes parenting that are too many to count.  My marriage has been messy, hard and totally imperfect.  I still struggle to balance work with family everyday and my house is never ready for company!

What I have found is that the more honest I am with the people around me, the more honest moms are with me.  Something amazing happens with honesty, it invites more honesty.

Imagine if we all revealed what we so carefully protect behind closed doors?  Maybe we would all feel a little less isolated, a little less guilty when we yell at our kids a little too loudly, or a little less upset that our storybook marriage isn’t quite what we thought it would be.

Imagine the strength between moms who stick together and build each other up, rather than present a false image of perfection.



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Author: Jennifer Koliatsis

Jennifer is a middle school English teacher. She lives in Bethpage with her husband and two teenagers. To her, a great night out is anywhere with great people, whether that's at home, a new restaurant, or even a PTA meeting.